Late night musing

Nighttime leg cramps woke me up. I think it's because I need to drink more water; it usually is. So now I don't want to go back to bed. I'd much rather play around on the computer. There is the beta for WoW to play and so much more.

And then there is the depression and fear. I don't want to go back to bed and risk more cramps again. I'm depressed because of my back; it seems to be getting worse.

The pain meds aren't cutting it and my feet are swelling. My feet are swelling because I am sitting too much. There aren't a lot of other options. Walking or standing makes my back hurt and my leg burn. I can at least tolerate the pain of sitting, but that is getting worse. It's only been 2 1/2 hours since I took my the Percocet and only 8 1/2 hours since I took the Lyrica and I hurt as I sit here. The prospect of living like this for the next several months until I can get surgery is enough to bring tears to my eyes and the depression descends like a fog over my brain.

I am deeply concerned that taking Percocet the way I am could lead to addiction. My pain has been getting worse. Is it because my body is developing a tolerance for the Percocet or is it because my back is getting worse? Either way doesn't sound good to me.